Please stare directly into the light, it will ease your pain.

This seems so familiar. Have we been here before? HAVE YOU FLASHY-THINGED ME BEFORE?

6.

As Sakyamuni meditated at the side of the court at Chase Center, Mara pointed to the place where he sat and demanded, “Who witnesses your right to courtside seats?”

Sakyamuni reached a finger down to touch the court. “I call The Town as my witness,” he replied.

7.

A fan inquired about Zen.

Nan-in first traded Wanamaker for two prospects in the Euroleague. Then he traded Smailagic for another three prospects in the Australian Basketball League. Then he began to trade Andrew Wiggins, and the fan could no longer could restrain himself.

“The roster is overfull! No more will go in!”

“Like our roster,” Nan-in said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your roster?”

8.

Steph Curry scored 27 points on 9-17 and 4-7 but the team lost by 30.

As he sat on the bench, he realized the team would be mediocre for the rest of the year and would be lucky to make the playoffs. Then he found some popcorn under a seat, fresh, buttery and untouched. How sweet it tasted!

9.

“Question: What is Buddha? Answer: A thirty-point ass-whupping.”